Some are born middle aged, some achieve middle age, and some have middle age thrust upon them

There's a card going round at work for someone who is having his 50th birthday soon. I was surprised. I thought he was already 50.

A little less conversation: I'm not having a good day, and you're not improving it.

I stopped at Sainsbury's today on the way home from work because we'd run out of milk and sugar.

As I waited for my shopping, I had a conversation that went like this:

Checkout person: 'Are you having a nice day?'

Me: 'Nope.'

Her: 'Oh, OK.' (Shuts up).