Things I've learnt about shopping

There should have been a bank holiday on Monday. In the old days we called it Whitsun. In recent years we've called it something bureaucratic like 'late May bank holiday'. This year we call it 'the jubilee weekend' and the government has decided we have to have it next week because we all run our lives based around the queen.

I took the day off work, on principle. Unfortunately I had to go shopping.


I don't really do shopping. I might like shopping for clothes if I was younger, richer or thinner. Unfortunately these three things have never happened concurrently. Instead, I panic buy once or twice a year when one of the following happen: a business meeting/conference/job interview; the realisation that none of my clothes fit; or the shock arrival of summer.

So I went shopping this week. But it wasn't too painful.

I learnt a few annoying thing:
When it's summer, the summer clothes are 'just finishing'.
If a shop categorises its sizes as S, M, L etc, chances are that L does not mean size 16.

And I learnt a few encouraging things:
Half the women I saw were fatter than me. (Yes, I know it shouldn't matter. I'm just shallow. Or vain. Or something.)
Of those who were thinner than me, at least half were worse dressed. Maxi dresses? Playsuits? (Is that even a real word?)
Brothel creepers are in the shops. Which means my footwear is on trend again.
Vintage-style lacy dresses are in all the shops. Which means my genuine vintage lacy dress is on trend too. Now, I just need to check whether it still fits...