Let's hear it for non-amazing women

You missed one.

It was International Women’s Day last week. I couldn’t help wondering what was the point.

Who is IWD for?

Some people posted to say thank you to the men in their workplaces.

No. This isn’t a day for celebrating men who are decent to women. Men should be decent to women anyway without needing to be thanked for it.

Men: this isn’t about you. You have your own day. International Men’s Day exists (as Richard Herring keeps reminding us). It’s on 19th November.

Some people posted about gender.

No. This isn’t a day for point scoring or making political points.

Time magazine ran an article called “What Does It Mean to Be a Woman? It's Complicated.” Er, no, it isn’t. According to the writer (a transwoman), it’s about “an imagined community that … enacts the feminine”.

Well, I’ve never enacted the feminine in my life and I’m not going to start now.

UN Women posted that women “are limitless, formless”. Well, last time I looked I had a female form.

This sort of stuff brings out my bullshit detector. Because it’s about Other People deciding it’s up to them to define what a woman is.

Gender theorists: this isn’t about you.

Some people posted about “womxn”.

I don’t know WTF this is, unless (as someone said on twitter), it’s a concerted effort by Scrabble players to get a new high scoring word. It’s not “women”, anyway.

Oh, and UN Women tweeted a list of words followed by a platitudinous “Today we celebrate every woman who resists patriarchy, insists on equality and persists for a better future.”

They missed one out. “Woman.”

Some people posted about inclusivity.

A transwoman I follow on Twitter posted: “This International Women's Day take some time for all those women who suffer further marginalisation through race, religion, class, sexuality, disability, neurodivergence, age, mental health, and birth assignment.”

Well, if you put it like that…

What is IWD for?

So, never mind WHO is IWD for? WHAT is it for?

According to the International Women's Day website, it’s about “celebrating the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women”.  That’s a bit of a come down from something that had its origins in the movement for workers’ rights.

It’s all about celebration now.

According to some people, it’s about “celebrating: mothers, daughters, wives and sisters”.

No. This isn’t about defining women in terms of their relationship to other people.

Men: this isn’t Mothers’ Day.

According to others, it’s about “celebrating the special women in your life” by buying stuff. Or getting a discount on Things Women Want, like feminist T-shirts.

Marketers: this isn’t Mothers’ Day.

According to lots of businesses, it’s about celebrating the women workers who help them make money (sorry, “innovate”).

If you’re Meghan Markle, it’s about “wearing a tailored pantsuit to mark the occasion”.

And for a lot of commentators, it’s about “celebrating” the “inspiring” and “amazing” women who people know.

What if you’re not an amazing woman though? Does that mean you don’t count?

Back in the real world, one of my Twitter friends wrote: "It might sound counter-cultural on this International Women's Day, when strong women are celebrated, to say I don't count myself as a strong woman at all. I've survived, yes, but I can't say I have thrived. I'm more than aware of my failures to be strong."

And another said: "Very tired of adverts telling me that WOMEN ARE STRONG, GIRLS CAN DO ANYTHING, when I am actually quite mediocre and would like a nap."

Most of us are not "amazing". We are strivers and survivors and we're just dealing with life.

So let's hear it for the vulnerable. Let's protect women, not "celebrate" them. Let's take off the pressure to be "inspirational" all the time.

What do women want?

Greta Thunberg had the right words, as usual: "What we women want today - and every day- is equality, not congratulations or celebrations."

Me, I’d quite like not to hear comrades mansplaining feminism. People to listen to each other. UN Women to stop posting platitudes about “the gender-equal world we all deserve”.

And not to have to be amazing.

 PS Ways you might want to support women

Here's a petition for the UK government to integrate all rights in UN CEDAW Convention into domestic law

Here's another petition, this one asking for the government to protect our sex-based rights.

And here's one calling on the UK Government to demand a safe space for every woman and girl caught up in conflict.