Book review: Fingers Crossed by Miki Berenyi

This memoir from “Miki from Lush” is out now in paperback, so if you haven’t read it yet now’s your chance.

Since its original release, the book has become Rough Trade Book of the Year, a Rolling Stone Book of the Year and a Mojo Book of the Year. But, I wondered, is it really a music book? There is after all a lot about Miki’s life before Lush: so is it a book about a person - like a “normal” memoir - rather than a book about music?

Of course, you can’t really separate those things, as everyone whose life has been immersed in music knows. So the first half of the book is about Miki’s dysfunctional, damaging childhood and adolescence. The second half is about her dysfunctional life in the music business. And they make sense of each other. 

Should I retire?

 

I never thought I’d ask myself that question. And now I am.

I get my state pension next year. Six years after I expected to get it, and I’m still angry with the Tories about this. But there’s nothing I can do about that. The Waspi T-shirt is in the bottom of a drawer, the movement split into factions, and no-one was listening anyway. 

Six years ago, I wouldn’t have contemplated giving up work. I felt fairly fit and healthy. Or as much as I’ve ever been, for someone who hated PE and lived mostly in their head.

It feels as if I’m being punished for that now. I’m being forced to live in my body, to be constantly aware of it. Every minute of the day, it lets me know it’s there, with constant micro-aggressions and the occasional kicking. 

How to watch your mother die

This is a bit different from my usual blog posts. I wrote it a few years ago for a writing competition (and got longlisted). 

It’s another exploration of the momentous year in which I got my autism diagnosis and my mother died. It covers both themes, because in real life things never happen in isolation. I hope you like it.

Trigger warning. Obviously.