International Women’s Day, autism and wondering who is right

It was International Women’s Day yesterday, and I was cross about it. Again.

Even on normal days, I’m cross at the world (by which I mean, I suppose, society) a lot. Because it is often noisy and unfair, and is nearly always illogical.

I am particularly cross on International Women’s Day because it is particularly illogical. It makes no sense that a day which originated with grassroots activism is no longer anything to do with feminism.

And it makes me feel bad, because I can feel myself getting sucked into it and I wish I wasn’t and I know that it’s to do with my autism. 

Every year I spend too much time and energy going down IWD rabbit holes when I could be getting on with my life. Getting angry about all the crap that is put out there. Talking to people who feel the same. Challenging people who don’t feel the same. Seeking validation that it’s not just me who feels this way.

This year, at least, I found I had people on my side. Someone wrote a LinkedIn post called Why I'm Not Going To #InspireInclusion For This Year's International Women's Day. 

She used it to call out the marketing agency behind the campaign that most social media managers think is “official”. It went viral, and the LinkedIn thread grew and grew. And I went there for the conversation, because there were people to talk to who get it.

But I wished I didn’t have to.

You hear a lot about autistic people’s “special interests”, things they can happily obsess about. I get the opposite: things I unhappily obsess about.

I know I see things in black and white; I know I get upset when other people don’t see things the way I do. I can feel myself turning into that annoying autistic who thinks they are right and everyone else is wrong.

I don’t deliberately pick fights (in fact, someone on Facebook tried to pick a fight with me, and I was cross about that, too). I try to be polite.

But I do feel strongly about things, and I want other people to feel strongly about them too. So why do I feel so strongly about this?

Because I am a feminist. Because IWD is an opportunity for the feminist viewpoint to be heard. And because, mostly, it is not.

Three years ago, IWD took place in the shadow of Sarah Everard’s murder. This year, it takes place in the shadow of the report about it. In a world where this is normal, forgive me if I don’t feel like celebrating.

So I get upset every time I read a social media post that starts “Happy International Women’s Day” or “We are celebrating International Women’s Day.” Because what is there to be happy about? What is there to celebrate?

And I get upset when I read a social media post by an organisation that says it is “celebrating” the women it works with. 

Just think about that. Would you post a photo of a group of male colleagues and say “Look! Men! Aren’t they amazing!” And would you then ignore them for the rest of the year? One post even said “this is my annual thank-you.” Just think about that. There’s a problem there. It’s the word “annual”.

I get upset when corporates use the day to promote their corporate agenda, when it had its roots in socialism. 

I get upset every time I see people using the phoney hashtag “Inspire inclusion” because it is meaningless and it lets them off the hook. IWD shouldn’t be about fluffy, feel-good slogans; it needs action.

I get upset when I see people taking the official UN theme “Invest in women” as an invitation for first-world women to invest in some self-development. IWD shouldn’t be about career porn either.

Because there is a reason that the UN wants us to invest in women. There’ s a second part to the theme that didn’t get onto the hashtags: “Accelerate progress”.

Because, yes, IWD needs to be progressive.

As the UN Women website points out: “The current economic system exacerbates poverty, inequality, and environmental degradation, disproportionately affecting women and marginalized groups.” 

“Celebrating” or “investing in” individual women is irrelevant, when the world (by which I mean the world of women) is crying out for system change.

At least the UN Secretary General put out a statement that included the phrase “ending the patriarchy”.

So, now I’ve worked out why I’m so upset about International Women’s Day. It’s because I believe it ought to be political, and most people don’t. But who’s to say that I’m not right?