In praise of older women part 2

At the weekend I came across my next door neighbour digging up ivy from her garden.

She was 90 this year. She didn't even make a big deal about that.

I will think of this next time I am tempted to complain about my arthritis.

Why age does matter

Tracy Emin is older than Elvis. Tracy Emin is 45. I am older than Tracy Emin. Some people will try to tell you that age doesn't matter. These people are men. Age does matter. And the bottom line is, it matters more when you’re a woman. Emin is being interviewed (by a journalist who, presumably, likes the ‘tortured artist’ angle) and she is talking about the fact she’s never had babies. To cut a long story short, she never met the right man at the right time. (That’s what I always tell people, when they ask: it’s a long story.) Has she written off the prospect of having children at all? asks the interviewer. Emin answers:

Every day I'm writing it off. I'm adjusting to not having them.

You don’t though. It’s not something you adjust to. It’s not something you ever do get used to.

Why Patti Smith is important part 2

I was right all along. In fact, I was on trend three decades ago.

So what's the next big thing? According to ‘Catriona MacNab, trendsetter’:

We're working on autumn/winter 09/10 right now. Patti Smith will be a big influence.

What not to wear

You might not know it to look at me (I’ve inherited a puritan streak that prevents me from spending money on clothes) but I am actually quite interested in fashion. Also, as a true child of the ’80s, in what people choose to say about themselves through what they wear.

So I am always fascinated by the Guardian’s weekly feature ‘The close-up’, in which they interview a fashionable nonentity about their clothes. I wouldn’t slag off someone in print because I am basically a nice person, so I won’t mention the name of this week’s interviewee. I’ll just say it’s a middle-aged Sloane in designer labels who describes her style as ‘edgy’ and ‘bohemian’ and says: ‘I want to be rock’n’roll when I’m 60.’

Sorry, it doesn’t work like that. You’re 42 years old. You’re wearing white trousers. You name-drop Liz Hurley. You can’t possibly be rock’n’roll.

Telling people you’re rock’n’roll is like telling people you’re eccentric, or cool, or sexy. It’s the opposite of a self-fulfilling prophecy (a self-negating prophecy?). It automatically makes what you’ve just said impossible. Being rock’n’roll, or eccentric, or cool, or sexy can never be achieved by the self-conscious. Anyone over the age of 40 who says they are ‘rock’n’roll’ is in danger of becoming David Brent. Note to self: never use this expression in public ever again.

Romance or risk assessment?

What I did on my holidays part 3...

pondered that if people had been so worried about getting sued 200 years ago, Jane Austen would have completely missed her plot.