Neat, neat, neat: Teachers, tests and lies

There's a thing going round the internet. Well, there's always a thing going round the internet. It's divided opinion more than most, and nearly made me fall out with someone I love. Which wasn't nice.

It's a letter from a teacher to children in her school about not worrying about their test results. A sort of consolation prize. I think her heart's in the right place but I also think she is feeding the children a lie.

Book review: Clothes Clothes Clothes Music Music Music Boys Boys Boys

Years ago, when I still worked for other people, I was talking about the legendary grumpiness of a colleague and one of his admirers said 'You don't know what he's been through.'  As if that was an excuse.  And I thought: 'You don't know what I've been through either.' And then I thought: 'Show me someone who's got the the age of 40 who hasn't had bad things happen to them and I'll show you someone who hasn't lived.'

Shit happens. We're all survivors, one way or the other. And you could call Viv Albertine's memoir the story of a survivor. Except that would be a) very '80s and b) a cliche.

My top 10 music books

Jarvis Cocker has written about his top 10 music books for the Guardian. So I thought I'd write about mine.

It's taken 50 years, but I've finally discovered the generation gap

And while you're at it, give us this back.

I've finally discovered the generation gap and I don't like it. Those 'you're not going out like that'/'fascist' dialogues from the teenage years? That's nothing to how I feel now.

Independent venues - how rock'n'roll are they really?

Apparently there's a thing on called Independent Venue Week, celebrating the small venues that support upcoming acts and grassroots fans. It's nice to know those places are still going – even if the impetus behind the event is that they might not be for much longer.

I don't go to gigs often these days: arthritis means that standing venues are out, and large ones can lack atmosphere. In any case, I've probably got more than an average lifetime's worth of gigs behind me already. But I cherish my memories of small venues.