I miss the sea

I think I’m officially old. I’ve started watching ‘Saga telly’. Programmes that are mainly about scenery. And if there are trains as well, that’s a bonus. (Disclaimer: nothing to do with Saga. It’s just my name for them.)

So when we found a programme called Scenic Railway Journeys, that was peak Saga telly.

Also, it has Bill Nighy doing the narration. Dead Ringers got it wrong with their running gag about Penelope Wilton having the most soothing voice in the world. It’s Bill Nighy. Also, he manages soothing AND sexy. And suave. All the positive alliterative adjectives.

I miss trains.

I miss the sea.

I miss my family.

I miss getting on a train, even if it’s only 15 minutes to the nearest city. I used to do it all the time. But I haven’t done it for four months. From our house, I can walk to the railway station in less than five minutes. That’s why we live there (also, it was cheap). But I don’t any more.

I miss watching the waves and hearing them roar. Yes, I can do that on my laptop. But I can’t smell the sea on my laptop or feel the wind on my face.

I can even hear seagulls where we live, even though we’re landlocked. But that’s not the same either. They don’t steal your chips.

I miss my family, even though some of them aren’t talking to each other. I check in with my siblings every day on WhatsApp. I see my nieces and nephews on Facebook. But that’s not the same either.

Since lockdown started, there are a lot of things I miss.

I miss not being lied to every single day.

I miss reading. Well, I’ve missed reading. I’ve just started again. Not being able to read seems to be a common lockdown experience. Something to do with concentration, I think. When things were bad, the only thing that could get me out of my thoughts and into “the zone” was gardening. (Yeah, officially old.)

I miss having a future. I don’t know where my next job is coming from. I don’t know when I will leave the house again other than to buy food. I don’t know when I will have a holiday. I don’t know whether I will be able to retire to the seaside. I can’t imagine leaving this house.

All together now:

No future
No future
No future for you