As I said in my previous post, I kept a “coronavirus diary” during the early months of the pandemic. I’ve always kept a diary but I wrote this alongside my normal everyday one. Partly for posterity and partly because it felt important.
I also said that we need to remember. And what I have just read in my five-year-old diary has shocked me.
You can see how gradually life became less and less normal. And then suddenly, very not-normal at all.
And you can see how quickly the government lost control of the situation. If they’d ever had any control to start with.
There was a lot of talk about how things might change "afterwards". Spoiler: nothing changed.
I am also remembering what a lifeline Twitter was, back when it was a supportive community of like-minded people. (It's also where I got the memes that illustrate this post.)
A bit of backstory/context. My mum died at the end of 2018, the same year I was diagnosed with autism. I have two sisters and several nieces and nephews. I am self employed and live with my husband. I’ve never voted Tory.
Covid diary March 2020
5th Feb
Haircuts with L. K [her daughter] is back from university in China but the next semester is cancelled because of the coronavirus.
28th Feb
J [husband] fixed the cooker hood. That’s one less thing to worry about. Now we just have to worry about: Brexit, coronavirus, flooding/climate change, the government etc.
1st March
More about coronavirus on the news. Someone says people over 60 shouldn’t go on public transport. That’s us.
4th March
E [friend] says that someone at their London office came back from Japan, went to work and a few days later was diagnosed with coronavirus. They’re “deep cleaning” the floor they work on. They’ve been told they can work from home if they want.
7th March
Loads of hand-washing memes going around. Government tell us to sing Happy Birthday so we know when we’ve done 20 seconds. People are suggesting alternatives (there’s a website that will put it together for you). Best so far is The Red Flag.
9th March
Church in the evening. K [minister] used hand sanitiser before distributing communion. Someone said: "The communion bread tasted funny last week. It tasted of hand sanitiser." We laughed.
11th March
Meetup in the morning. Only four people there.
12th March
NUJ branch meeting in the evening. I suggested we should be sitting a metre apart. [Branch secretary] laughed but moved the tables anyway.
Latest government press conference was a bit scary. This “herd immunity” thing relies on people dying.
No other country is doing it.
Friday 13th March
Dentist in the morning. “Business as usual” he says. He’s had no advice from the British Dental Association. Lots of stuff from the NHS but nothing sector-specific.
Sat down with J to look at our risk management strategy and contingency plans, due to lack of anything useful from the government. Decided we would do “social distancing”. So no more theatre, pub quiz, meetups, days out etc.
Made shopping list. Couldn’t face going to the supermarket.
Getting really worried about the lack of client work now. I’d been feeling a bit smug about our life not changing much on account of we already work from home, but that’s not much benefit if there is no work to do.
14th March
Did normal Saturday shopping (fruit, veg, meat, Guardian). Co-op looks normal apart from lack of toilet paper.
Watched the film Boyhood in the evening. 2 hours and 40 minutes of not thinking about coronavirus. It felt good.
15th March
Starting to feel a bit panicky. What if the bins don’t get emptied, or we don’t get electricity or clean water cos there’s no-one to do it? What if the internet goes down?
The time for hand-washing jokes is over. It’s all feeling a bit apocalyptic now.
16th March
Went to Sainsbury’s, planning to do normal shop not stockpiling. That was optimistic. No loo paper obviously but lots of other aisles empty – dry goods and tinned goods. And no teabags. That’s a blow. Got a bit cross.
When we arrived there was the usual person with handsets trying to make us do "Smart Shop". J thought she was testing people’s temperature. As I pulled him away, she said: "There will be queues. I must advise you that we haven't put any extra staff on the tills."
As we walked round I heard two staff members talking: "If we get abuse we'll have to get more security guards in."
Had a chat with checkout woman. “It was like Christmas yesterday,” she said, looking stoical.
Went home and did a Traidcraft order, but they’re out of sugar. Trying to do the right thing and support traders that are not Big Business, but it costs more and I need to budget.
17th March
Haven’t done much in the last few days except watch TV news and social media and get angry with the government. And increasingly scared.
Stig Abell posted on Twitter: “Here’s a tip I’ve been trying in the evenings: every time you feel yourself wanting to terror-scroll through Twitter, put your phone out of reach and read a book. Managing your mental health in the next few weeks is going to be essential.”
“Terror-scrolling” is right. J is doing the same thing but with TV news and I’m finding it really stressful.
Spending a lot of time on social media. Posting stuff on Facebook about supporting local businesses and not trusting fake news. Signing petitions. Writing to my MP as suggested by the NUJ.
There’s talk about 'People's Quantitative Easing' and universal basic income. People will literally starve if something like this doesn’t happen.
Went to play “It’s the end of the world as we know it” on YouTube. Someone had commented: “Who’s here because of coronavirus?” They got over 600 likes. I remember the Spotify adverts after the Brexit referendum, based on the fact that lots of people in the UK were streaming the song.
The Methodists have announced no more church services. I was thinking about not going anyway but this makes me sad.
I WhatsApped the sisters to see how they are. It’s affecting all the kids.
Got an email from the House of Commons Petitions Committee: "As the result of the large numbers of petitions and signatures we've received on coronavirus, we will be putting your concerns and questions directly to the Government at an evidence session (a question and answer session with representatives from the Government) in the coming days. Tell us what question(s) you'd like us to the ask the Government and experts in this short survey.”
I don’t have *questions*: I have a list of things they should be doing!
It all feels so unreal. And unsettling.
18th March
John Ashton, a public health expert from Liverpool who’s been very critical of the government, has suggested we need Mass Observations “to record this emergency and crisis for posterity and for justice”.
My Twitter friend M has already said she is keeping a diary of it, which felt like a good idea. (She also says: “It's a bit like a bereavement when you wake in the morning and for the first few seconds it hasn't happened.” It is.)
So here goes.
(Backdated with stuff from my normal diary.)
I spent some time today on LinkedIn, reminding people I’m around, and wondering what else I can do to get more work in.
I feel a bit more normal today, partly because I’ve kept busy, but I don’t think it’s really sunk in yet. I think I’m still stressed though cos I’m eating the emergency fudge bars I got in Iceland yesterday.
Today the government announced schools were closing. Hardly surprising.
They still haven’t made any social distancing mandatory. Local pubs on Facebook saying “we’re still open, we’re just washing our hands more”. It has to stop!
I think we need a proper, enforced lockdown, because people are selfish idiots. Awful Conservative woman on Twitter has posted: “I’d rather die as a freeborn citizen doing the things that freeborn citizens do, than cower like a dog in a kennel because the Government has ordered me to do so. I won’t do it.” It’s a quote from an article in Conservative Woman that she wrote. She’s getting a lot of stick but is unrepentant. (Also, she quotes the Bible in her bio. What a hypocrite.)
I’d like to watch the news but I can’t bear to listen to Boris Johnson. There’s a photo going round from a recent press conference showing him looking terrified. He’s so out of his depth.
There’s a lot of hippie dippy platitudes going round about how we’re all going to have a lovely sabbatical and the earth will heal itself and we’ll come out the other side into a new utopia. That’s easy to say if you’ve got a safety net. A lot of people are worried about where the next meal (or toilet roll) is going to come from. Also, people are dying.
There’s a lot of virtue signalling going on as well, as people try to show how much they’re doing for their community. I can’t do much cos I am “at risk” being over 60. Not as much as many people, but I don’t want to risk it. Anyway, it feels a bit chaotic at the moment, because they are amateurs. Could backfire.
19th March
A bad day. Insomnia last night. Which meant I got up late and didn’t get on top of things. Then I had a phone conference followed by a Zoom meeting. And then I felt peopled out and overwhelmed.
People are stealing from food banks. Blitz spirit my foot.
Also, Guardian reports a poll saying govt/Johnson’s approval rating with the public is UP. WTF?
J’s already going stir-crazy. He’s used to working from home but he’s also used to taking work to the pub in the afternoons for a change of scene.
Rachel Clarke (doctor, ex journalist) tweeted that Boris Johnson is “a one-man public health comms disaster”. He’s so out of his depth. They seem to be making up policy as they go along. Wasn’t there any govt risk management/contingency planning? There’s been SARS and swine flu before, after all.
20th March
Work up early and spent an hour in bed drinking tea and talking to J. Feels like we are talking to each other more at the moment.
Spent most of the day working “on” my business, ie networking, writing LinkedIn article etc. Pretending to be normal. Made a list of “things to do to get work”. Actually, I’d quite like a sabbatical. Everyone’s talking as though the country is on holiday. That’s not what “working from home” means. (Or full-time childcare if your kids aren’t in school.)
Went to Sainsbury's to pick up my prescription. There’s a notice on the counter saying what they haven’t got (calpol etc). But the shop was generally much quieter today, so I went round with a basket and my shopping list. They’re restocking tea, coffee, sugar, flour. Pasta, rice, tinned stuff still almost bare though.
Booze shelves much barer than Monday. Intercom announcements about rationing and how there’s plenty more stuff on the way. Still no loo paper. I hope our ‘Who gives a crap’ supply lasts, and that they have more stock by the time of our next delivery.
No queue in "basket only" aisle. Checkout guy was using the lull to sanitise his workspace. "Don't believe everything you see on social media," he said, “Most people are OK.” (Still no loo roll or paracetamol though.)
Government press conference at 5pm announces they will fund 80% of employee wages. Self-employed can apply for Universal Credit. This means employed people can get up to £2,500 per month, non means tested. Self-employed can get £376 per month, but means tested. Cue howls of anger from self-employed.
TUC claiming credit for the wage subsidy scheme, but after I thought about it a bit I realised the govt weren’t doing it for the good of the workers, they were doing it for the good of capitalism. Although huge amount of the UK are self-employed we are economically dispensable.
I’ve joined a support group on Facebook called ‘Anti-viral work for freelancers and small businesses’. A lot of people have no income and no savings and are panicking.
Someone posted an article from the Manchester Evening News about how the govt could give everyone £1000 a month. Someone commented “Good but it’s still a form of control.” I bit my tongue and just said “I’ll have yours if you don’t want it.” Idiot.
The government also announced that pubs etc have to close AFTER TONIGHT. Someone tweeted: “The pubs tonight are going to look like a cross between New Year’s Eve & petri dish.”
A few people on Twitter saying that people are buying up freezers now! Siege mentality.
Watched Channel 4 news. The weatherman is doing it from home as is Krishnan Guru-Murthy (with his dog).
Watched The Last Leg – last episode of the series. This week with no studio audience. This is such a great programme. Over the past few weeks they’ve got the tone just right – balancing the satirical, the silly and the serious. I don’t think I was the only one choking up at bit at the end when Adam Hills said:
“For the past few weeks, we've been describing what's gone on as like being in an Outbreak film.
“Right now is the moment in that film where you choose what your character does next. Are you going to conduct a fitness class on a rooftop? Are you going to sing from your balcony? Or are you going to selfishly hoard stuff and not give a shit about other people? You choose. Because when all this is over, how do you want to be remembered?
“No matter what, stay at home if you can. Look after yourselves and look after those around you. Cos that's exactly what we're going to do for the next little while. We're going to go home, we're going to look after our families and our loved ones.
“Wash your hands. Self-isolate. And be kind to each other.
“In other words, and never has this been more appropriate: don't be a dick.
“Stay safe, and we'll see you on the other side.”
21st March
Did usual Saturday shop. Got everything I needed in Wilkos, surprisingly. Even paracetamol. I had to ask the man behind us in the queue to move back a bit. He tutted. I told J the thing about Joey Ramone being 6 foot 6 and that’s two metres, ie how far we have to be apart, and the guy moved a bit. Queues in the butchers, and no eggs. Told J I’d save our eggs for his birthday cake, like in the war. Not much veg on the market stall. I think people are shopping there who usually get veg from the supermarkets.
Somebody called Ant Middleton (celebrity?) has posted to his 830,000 Instagram followers that if you’re ‘fit and healthy’ then COVID-19 won’t affect you. Last night I had an argument on the local Facebook group with a young woman saying that fears about young people not social distancing doesn’t matter because “we all have to get it”. This is the fault of the govt and media because when this started the message was that everyone who died was “elderly” and/or had “underlying health conditions”. I know it was meant to be reassuring but a) it created complacency and b) it suggested that people who fall into those categories don’t matter. (Also relevant: the now discredited message about “herd immunity”.)
Interesting thoughts from Twitter:
- We need residents’ permits for shopping. (People are driving round buying up stuff.)
- When this is all over we need a full global jubilee (debt cancellation) to repair and rebuild.
Some thoughts about capitalism:
- The Times has reported that Easyjet says it might want taxpayer support (credit or loans from the government) to cope with the coronavirus crisis. BUT is still going ahead with a £174 million dividend payout to shareholders (including £60m to founder). AND has laid off staff for three months (ie unpaid). The govt shouldn’t be paying shareholders, it should be nationalising (especially public services like transport).
- Philip Green (who we all know is a bastard anyway) laid off all Topshop workers with no pay, just before govt announced the help for workers.
- Richard Branson (ditto) expects Virgin Atlantic staff to take eight weeks’ unpaid leave in the next three months. He’s worth £3.8 BILLION. He could pay them himself.
- Grrr.
Some thoughts about communications:
- The three-person press conference had useful messages on the podiums: Stay at home; Protect the NHS; Save lives. (Finally: up to now it’s just been a web address.) But where’s the public health campaign for people who don’t watch the news? There’s so much misunderstanding about.
- There’s been a lot of talk about the war. (I’m still waiting for a National Government.) Someone on Twitter suggested the old WWII posters were still valid: “Coughs and Sneezes Spread Diseases”; "Is your journey really necessary?"; "Holidays at home"; "Fair shares"; “The other side of the counter” (be nice to frontline workers); "Stop Talking - Before it is too late" (don’t spread disinformation); "Don't be a Squanderbug" (stop hoarding).
- Someone else suggested Dad’s Army posters: Sergeant Wilson saying "Going out? Do you really think that's wise?" and Corporal Jones saying 'Don't Panic (Buy)!'. And a "stupid boy" one too.
People keep writing things called “Life in the Time of Corona”.
I was going to write a blog post called “Of grief and greed”. Because the whole country has spent this week going through the five stages of grief. Mostly anger. At the government. (Anyway, I didn’t get round to it. Probably just as well. Too much noise already.)
22nd March
Mothering Sunday, as Mum always preferred to call it. I have daffodils from the Co-op, in Mum’s old blue vase, and posted a photo on Facebook. I’m glad now that she’s dead, because I don’t have to worry about her.
Spent the morning planting potatoes. They will be ready in 15 weeks. I wonder if our food will last til then?
Photos on social media of Black Friday-level queues in supermarkets. Also, queues in Snowdonia and the seaside. At 10pm the government published their definition of “essential travel” ie not going on holiday. Everything they do is reactive. They are floundering.
It said: “Essential travel does not include visits to second homes, camp sites, caravan parks or similar, whether for isolation purposes or holidays. People should remain in their primary residence. Not taking these steps puts additional pressure on communities and services that are already at risk.”
The campsite we usually go to has already posted on Facebook that they are closing. I haven’t heard anything from our holiday cottage agency. Gov.uk doesn’t mention that.
I am losing patience with people. There are idiots on the local Facebook group saying things like “[name of restaurant] is letting people dine in. Well done!!” Why did the admins even approve this?
Nicola Sturgeon said today: "Life shouldn't feel normal right now, so if your life still feels entirely normal, ask yourself if you are doing the right things."
Nursing Times reports that community nurses are getting abuse from the public. This despite sentimental virtue-signally about NHS workers across social media. People are such shits.
Meanwhile, the Times has a long report on the government U-turn (against ‘herd immunity without vaccine’ strategy). They report that Dominic Cummings’ strategy was: “protect the economy and if that means some pensioners die, too bad”. We’re being governed by a psychopath and we didn’t even elect him.
Channel 4 put on a really good Dispatches programme called “How to self-isolate”. It covered all the things people need to know, very clearly. This is the sort of thing the BBC should be doing. Or the government.
J keeps telling me the latest statistics. That’s when I get The Fear.
23rd March
WhatsApp message from [sister] this morning: “having a bit of a wobble”.
I had a bit of a wobble myself later. It’s starting to sink in. Everything I read about what’s happening in other European countries makes me think our government is doing too little, too late. It’s terrifying.
Then I had stuff to do, after which I felt better. R called round to pick up my bag of stuff for the food bank. Originally I’d said stop for coffee but we decided not. We had a chat on the phone instead when she got home.
J and I spent some time outside continuing to clear the back garden. It’s a lovely spring day and we felt better for it. “Everyone’s gardens are going to look brilliant this year,” said R.
A letter came through the door from F down the road about setting up a local support group. She’s doing it on WhatsApp. This motivated me to drop a note to [elderly neighbour] next door with our phone numbers.
Our Traidcraft order arrived so now we have cocoa. I’ve missed it.
Haven’t done any work. Hard to settle to anything.
This evening Boris Johnson “addressed the nation”.
From tonight, people in Britain will be allowed to leave their homes for only “very limited purposes” - shopping for basic necessities; for one form of exercise a day; for any medical need; and to travel to and from work when “absolutely necessary”.
I feel a bit panicky. There’s something scary about not being able to buy non-essentials. What if I run out of typing paper? I nearly bought some last time we were in Wilko’s but we had a lot to carry.
I feel like we’re under house arrest.
The BBC said “This is not a lockdown, but it's as close as you can get to one without it being called a lockdown.”
There’s a meme going round – a photo of Johnson saying “I tried to warn you. Now you’re all fucking grounded.”
24th March
Woke up feeling OK. Had a bit of a cry later.
R is going to find this lockdown hard. She won’t be able to see her baby grandson.
[Sister] is getting lonely in the house on her own.
J and I are lucky because we are used to being in the house all day and we like each other’s company and we don’t have parents or children to worry about. But I feel stressed, and drained.
Told myself I would do some work and pretend things were normal. Then went on Twitter instead.
It was already clear last night that the government’s “full guidance” isn’t very full. It’s a two-page pdf. And it’s full of holes.
And was being contradicted by advice being tweeted by a government minister (Jenrick).
J’s just told me he’s seen pictures of packed tube trains in London because the number of trains has been cut.
Other tweets – just in a random ten-minute scroll:
‘Getting lots of messages from employees being told to go to work tomorrow who don’t think their work should be seen as essential and are worried.’
‘It's "advice" to stay in lockdown but also the police can impose penalties if you don't follow this "advice". Clear as mud.’
‘The guidance quietly changed from only key workers go to work to all go to work unless they can work at home. This is not a proper lockdown at all. It's a half measure that will cost lives and help the virus spread. #botchedlockdown’ There’s a screenshot of the 10 Downing Street tweets: last night “reasons to leave home” were “go to work (if you’re a key worker)”, today it’s “go to work (but work from home if possible)”. This is mad.
The advice page that went up last night said:
- Requiring people to stay at home, except for very limited purposes (It also says: Travelling to and from work, but only where this absolutely cannot be done from home.)
- Closing non-essential shops and community spaces.
- Stopping all gatherings of more than two people in public.
‘There are a lot of people in non-essential jobs (gardening, construction etc) who are working today, having been told they won't be paid if they follow government instructions and stay at home. Government needs to offer clarity. Gove on BBC Breakfast talking nonsense.’
‘I've already seen line that we're only more restricted now b/c ppl 'didn't behave properly before' - so instead of realising this is an essential medical move, happening b/c the govt acted too slowly, it is framed as a collective punishment caused by 'other people'. Not good.’
There’s a #covidiots hashtag. It’s been reported as abusive.
There’s a pdf going round with a list of businesses that can stay open.
Last night the boss of Sports Direct (already notorious as a Bad Person) was arguing that their shops count as “essential”.
And so on….
Later in the morning Twitter crashed. Well I thought it was Twitter but it turned out to be our broadband.
Shit. This doesn’t bode well.
Saw a bit of parliament debate on help for self-employed. Rishi Sunak said the government can’t be expected to subsidise every worker in the country. Also that it wouldn’t be fair to pay all freelances because some of them aren’t losing work. Shit. That doesn’t bode well either.
I know I’m stressed because I want to eat. All the healthy habits I got into after New Year are disappearing.
25th March
It’s becoming very clear that the supposed lockdown has been botched. It’s really unclear who is allowed to go to work and who isn’t (and who’s looking for loopholes). Which means construction workers are going to work (because they won’t get paid if they don’t), and some employers are making their employees go in. It’s a complete #comms #fail.
There’s a huge gulf emerging between good business owners/bosses and evil ones. Villains: Branson, Philip Green, the boss of Sports Direct, the Wetherspoons guy. Heroes: Timpsons, Leon.
(Oh, and Sports Direct have put up the prices of keep-fit equipment by 50%.)
But..
Last night I got round to reading Saturday’s Guardian. There’s a piece in the Review section called Art of Survival by Olivia Laing. She talks about being “more invested in finding nourishment than identifying poison”. I think this is important.
She also says “the social landscape is shifting at such a rate that thinking, the act of making sense, is permanently balked”. But “stopped time” – which we are in now – gives us a chance to think differently. I don’t think we’re there yet though.
------
The govt are supposed to be making an announcement about help for self-employed people tomorrow. But it’s starting to feel like there’s some expectation management going on – playing down what they might do for us. Talking about how complicated it is and that lots of self-employed people are doing OK actually. Not the ones I know! And that we pay less tax. I don’t understand that. I pay class 2 and class 4 and a big chunk of NI.
I’ve felt all along that they are prioritising help for employees (rather than self-employed) cos they want to protect business. Don't actually care about protecting individuals.
---
Nasty right-wing columnist Allison Pearson tweeted: “After this, let Made in China be a badge of shame.”
A guy called Dr Philip Lee replied (with a photo of him in doctor kit): “I'm made in China Allison, should I be ashamed working for the NHS?” 167k likes so far.
Also, someone pointed out that Pearson was tweeting on an iphone. Made in China.
---
Govt press conference tonight led on all the people who’ve signed up as “NHS volunteers”. Some journalists on Twitter have been digging about the company behind the app that they sign up with – two people and an address above a pub. And people are trusting them with their data.
J’s watching more TV news than me – half govt propaganda (ie taking what they tell us at face value) and half (eg Newsnight) questioning it. It’s becoming obvious that Matt Hancock’s been lying about a lot of things – number of affected, availability of PPE, ventilators, testing etc. I really don’t have faith in any of them.
(I can’t watch Newsnight; it gives me bad dreams.)
Scientists are saying now that we’ve wasted 7 weeks. Healthcare professionals are using the word “tsunami”. Witty says peak will be manageable if everyone keeps to lockdown measures. Which they are not.
Johnson also putting out platitudes about “putting our arms around every worker and employee”. Lewis Goodall (BBC) tweets: “ I’ve spoken to one Universal Credit applicant who recently lost all their work in the hospitality sector, who is approximately *40,000th* in the queue and has only moved up 2000 places in the last 24 hours.”
---
Plenty of people still not observing lockdown rules. I’ve seen it called Schroedinger’s Lockdown – is it or isn’t it?
There was a good article, in the Spectator (!) I think, that said things are coming home to roost. The government has encouraged this libertarian culture (eg over Brexit) so now people think they are anti-establishment ignoring the lockdown.
--
Got an email from the holiday cottage agency. Basically, check your insurance. Bastards. They haven’t updated their website at all, either. When I did a live chat last week they just said to phone the manager.
26th March
I allow myself an hour online in the morning so I can make sense of what’s happening right now. (And I read the Guardian’s live blog each evening.)
This morning someone I follow on Twitter tweeted that her cousin has died. She says: “I wouldn’t have posted, except to show how this virus is trespassing into all our lives.”
A few days ago when J told me the latest stats (he’s following them; I’m not) I thought: everyone will know someone who died because of this.
----
So people have been talking about what happens “afterwards”.
Someone tweeted this morning: “Can all environmentalists PLEASE stop touting the benefits of a pandemic to save the planet - it’s a PR disaster and the messaging is already being hijacked by deniers and eco-fascists alike.”
And I’ve just read an article saying a white supremacist group is impersonating Extinction Rebellion.
Over the last few weeks there have been a lot of posts going round saying that eg the Venice canals are cleaner – someone said this one’s a hoax. Or that the air in London is less polluted – this one’s true, I think. I know people want to look on the bright side but if someone you know has died it’s not much consolation.
I think people are thinking that the only problem is being isolated or losing money, so if we stick it out it will be fine in the end. It’s not. We might die. All of us, not “just” old people. A 21-year-old woman has died in the UK.
Martin Kettle in the Guardian has written “We simply don't know what kind of Britain will awake from all this”. He talks about confirmation bias. People who hated Johnson don’t trust him on this; for people who liked him already the approval ratings are going up.
Can’t find the link now, but a few days ago I saw someone use the phrase “fascist” about some of the stuff that’s going round. I think they mean the sunlit uplands/survival of the fittest stuff.
A more reasoned article was in (surprisingly) Esquire: “How The World Will Change Over The Next 18 Months”.
---
Police now have powers to police whether people are observing the lockdown. You’re supposed to be allowed to go outside for exercise but apparently you can’t get in your car to go for a walk.
We went to town for shopping. Very quiet – feels like Sundays used to. Tried to shop at the Co-op but they’ve set up a social distancing one-way system and it’s not working. Gave up and went to Iceland. They’ve got eggs, milk, bread etc. We also got quite a lot of chocolate biscuits.
---
Govt finally made their announcement about help for self-employed workers. Phew.
I hadn’t realised how worried I was until I felt how relieved I was. But at least I have savings. Some people are in a much more precarious position, and the “grants” won’t reach us til June.
And they’re still going about how we don’t pay as much tax. And in return for this kindness we might have to pay more in future. I pay loads already. It feels a bit snide.
---
There was a thing at 8pm where everyone in the country was supposed to go out and clap for the NHS. A lot of people I know were saying it was very moving. Some people online were saying it was hypocritical, when NHS workers don’t even have the right PPE.
---
Some guy in a pub in Wigan set up an online pub quiz. It was only supposed to be for a few people – ended up 90,000 or something. We did it, and compared notes with S and N afterwards. This is life now, I guess.
27th March
I’d seen some mutterings on social media about the NICE guidelines, published on Friday, which advised doctors on how to choose who gets life-saving intensive care treatment if there are too many Covid-19 patients to treat. There’s a frailty index and if you score 5 or more (out of 9) you might be left to die. And you get a higher score if you are disabled, autistic etc. I’m autistic but that doesn’t make me frail.
There’s now been a U-turn – they’ve been told to remove cognitive abilities as a factor (and “stable long-term disabilities such as cerebral palsy”, which would include [friend]) – but why was it ever allowed to happen?
Of course, triage will still happen.
The bloke that worked for Dominic Cummings for about 5 minutes has been posting on Twitter that the over 65s, or maybe even the over 60s (us!!) would get “palliated”, ie palliative care only. I think it’s wishful thinking – he lost his job on account of being a eugenicist – but it’s a bit scary that it’s even been mooted. Because he won’t be the only person thinking it.
There have been a lot of people muttering anxiously about eugenics for a while now. Paranoia, conspiracy theory or not?
--
Boris Johnson has been diagnosed positive but is still working – self-isolated with webcam. And Matt Hancock, the health secretary. And Chris Whitty, the Chief Medical Officer, thinks he has it.
Dominic Cummings was seen running out of Downing Street, like a rat leaving a sinking ship.
There’s something a bit macho about the way that Johnson and Hancock are saying they have “mild symptoms”.
Gove did the evening press conference. Platitudes and spin. We need a National Government, to keep politics out of it.
Meanwhile, The Lancet is calling the way the crisis has been handled “a national scandal”. It’s very sobering reading.
Latest news:
It’s been announced that the rate of infection doubling every 3-4 days.
The Guardian reports: Usage of BT’s broadband network dropped by 10-15% in the minutes before and after 8pm last night, while BBC iPlayer traffic fell by almost 30% in the same period, as the nation stopped what it was doing to clap and cheer its support for the NHS and care workers, according to figures seen by the Guardian. At the same time, traffic on BT’s mobile network rose by about the same amount, reflecting a spike in the number of people streaming and videoing their neighbourhoods breaking into applause.
A bit geeky, but I find this interesting.
Also: The government has just updated its guidance on access to green spaces. They are now telling people to “stay local and use open spaces near to your home where possible – do not travel unnecessarily”.
Note the government is still not explicitly outlawing driving somewhere but is obviously trying to discourage people from making unnecessary journeys.
I'm getting nature envy. People have been postings photos of their lovely walks, and we don't have any lovely walks here without getting in the car. (Also, police forces are interpreting the rules different ways.)
28th March
Got up early and went shopping. The fruit and veg stall is still there – “taking it a day at a time”, they said.
Bought two weeks’ worth just in case. Wilko has loo paper, soap and paracetamol so I messaged the neighbour WhatsApp group to tell them.
It’s Saturday and I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m tired now of news and opinions. I don’t even want to go online. I don’t feel up to socialising.
----
A lawyer posted on Twitter about the regulations and reasons for leaving your house.
There is nothing in the regs to say you can only exercise once a day and nothing to say you can’t get in the car to do it. Some police forces are making up their own rules.
----
Over 1,000 dead in UK now.
A woman has died in Peckham after being told by paramedics that the hospital wouldn’t take her because she’s not a priority. Because she was 36? Because she was black?
I made the mistake of reading the article. The descriptions brought home how real this illness is. Now I am actually, really scared.
This is the kind of story that should be in the public information ads, not paternalistic talking heads.
This is not about being stuck indoors.
This is not about supermarket shelves.
This is about people dying. Horrible deaths. Without proper medical care.
Any kind of people. Not just "your granny". Maybe you.
I'm scared now. I think we need to be.
----
J was watching the newspaper roundup on Sky News. As a Twitter friend put it: “The woman on #skypapers was just working up to saying something along the lines of is it worth saving the elderly and seems that someone hit the panic button and went to adverts.”
J said he thought he’d sat on the remote control and accidentally changed channels, it was so abrupt.
----
Boris Johnson is going to send us all a letter. Just what we need. The govt line – parroted by the “mainstream media” – is that it’s up to the general public to stop it spreading. They are pushing this propaganda to avoid being held responsible for their own bad decisions.
29th March
Church service on Zoom. People were unclear about the technology, and the preacher didn’t know it would cut out after 40 minutes cos he’s using the free version.
I still feel very “wobbly”.
The discussion about whether or not to save “old” people continues. Despite Sky censoring that woman last night, the notion is already out there.
Some people seem to think “the elderly” and “over 60” are the same thing. Fuck that. I'm not even old enough to get my pension and some would consider my life expendable.
The LA Review of Books has an article titled Ageist “Triage” Is a Crime Against Humanity.
Someone tweeted it with the words “ethical minefield”. Choosing whether to let older people die is *not* an "ethical minefield". Just don't fucking do it.
Yes, I am angry.
---
N emailed in the evening to tell me his friend B has died of it.
This is where it starts. First, friends and family of people I know on Twitter. Then, friends of friends in real life. Hoping it doesn’t come closer. Knowing that, for those people, it already has.
30th March
Went for a walk in the park first thing. People are all keeping their distance; some are wearing their hoods up. Some say “Good morning”, which is nice.
I’ve turned my other/normal diary into a gratitude diary. There are lots of things to be happy about, in between being scared. Today: saw a wren.
----
Dominic Cummings has got coronavirus. Karma.
#TrumpIsAnIdiot was trending on Twitter this morning. Saw him on TV last night. Seems to have lost the plot even more than normal. Beggars belief.
--
Today’s agenda item is police forces making up their own laws. Either they are misunderstanding the law or they are little Hitlers. Either way, it could be counter-productive. Lots of useful Twitter threads from lawyers pointing out that the police’s job is to enforce the actual regulations, not govt guidance or their interpretation of it.
31st March
#PoliceState is trending. Haven’t had any problems here so far. Some police have acted like dicks, but the media is trying to play it down because no one wants a backlash.
Life here is starting to feel a bit more normal. We are luckier than others, because this isn’t hugely different from our usual lifestyle. I also think I am doing better than [sisters] because of being aspie. I am usually calm in a crisis, like when Mum was dying. Doesn’t mean I’m not scared and worried though. I am terrified of losing J. Or vice versa.
Tonight the govt announced a sharp rise in UK deaths from coronavirus. Including a 13-year-old, after they’ve been telling us that children are safe.
The NHS still hasn’t got enough PPE, and there are still questions about testing. Which Gove appears to be lying about.
No comments:
Post a Comment